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Dimana letaknya cinta kita
Kan ku pijak semua
Kerna semua sudah tiada ertinya
Tentang cinta sudah tiada maknanya
Tentang kita elok dilupakan semua

weLL hi all..huhu it’ve been few weeks since my last post..well there goes a sad part of my life..well m trying to mend my heart..try to move on wit my life..i guess im recovering from d heartache..i guess..

ntah la…even epy cane aku pn..still pk gk psl tu..mmg xmo pk lgsg benda tu, but it owez on my mind..susah nk lupe..tahlaa..ni 1st time aku rase btul2 down..b4 dis, even menangis mcm org gle pn, aku still leh tahan..tp kali ni, evn aku kurang menangis, but it hurts more than b4..apetah ag kalu aku t’jupe benda2 yg dia actualy tpu aku, lg la rs hati ni mcm kne siat2..

well mmg nmpk aku epy je..slalu kuar ngn G n adeq matt..t’hutang budi gk kt diorg sbb slalu ceriakn aku ngn kesengalan mereka tu, dat make me not to think bout wut happened..but still my mind wont escape from thinking bout him, them..i’ve tried to b strong, well i do look strong, but d heart is aching..ati aku mcm da xrase pape pn..ramai je kate amek je la blk G tu..tp igt aku ni patung ke xda prasaan nk tuka2 org mcm tu je..mmg ar aku sayang G but d sparks has gone..tawar hati, yup dat’s d words..

n knape dia slalu muncul tym aku tgh melupakan..anta msg, call..u threw me, so juz leave me..tp mmg aku nk jupe dia..i dunno 4 wut..tp aku nk sgt jupe dia..i dunno wut to say when n if i meet him..but i juz wanna meet him, c him, look at him, stare at him..i do wanna ask y did he do dis to me..aku nk dia ckp seme yg dia tpu aku..dr A smpai Z..aku nk dia kate dat he lied when he say he loves me..i want him to say dat he never needed me.. i want him to tear my heart apart so dat i wont feel anything, anymore..

*sigh~ ntah laa..aku pn tatau ape yg aku nk rs skrg..i dun wanna b in luv n to be luv..but i wanna be loved, sincerely be loved..but i juz dun wanna my heart to break again…ade lg ke hati aku pn? huhu mcm da xda je..

my heart rite now juz like d dust hv been blown by da wind..ouh when dis sorrow season gonna come to past..when is d pain gonna come 2 d end..for how long shud i be mourning 4 d lost?when is d rain gonna stop so dat i can c d rainbow dat will shine thru?when is he gonna stop from being d reason y i shed my tears when im alone or even wit at least sumbody?

aku bc msg2 ktorg kt ym aritu..msg sjak aku start baik blk ngn dia..mcm2 dia ckp kt aku..he wanna make me happy again..he wanna love n nvr leave me..tp..ayat dia seme bg hope kt aku..he filled me wit hope..da jd mcm lagu apologize lk..huhu

songs dat playing in my mind n ears now r "over u" by daughtry, "apologize" by timbaland, "stuck" by stacie orico, n sumbody gave me as song, "tentang kita" by couple..wargh truknye aku skrg…emo..

ey all..

ehm few days hv passed since dat day..well im now im picking up d pieces of my heart, try to mend it back..yeah like he said, i made mistakes, so do him..but i wont cheat on my loved ones, dat’s d difference between me n him..

psl lepas, he kept bringing it up..yep i admit i did lied to him bout certain things juz to protect our relationship..it’s not dat i went n sleep around wit other guys, juz be frenz to sum guys…but yeah dat was my mistake, but i came clean to him..but wut he did to me, is totally different..he beg me to come back to him while he’s wit sum1 else..he lied to 2 ppl…n he threw me away juz lyk dat.damn

well i dun blame him at all…n u dont need to say sorry cuz if u’re really sorry, u wont even think to do dis at all..to me n to her…n to her, im very sorry…i didnt mean for dis to happen…i swear, if i noe dat he’s urs, i wont bother to see him again, apetah lg utk fall for him even more…im verry sorry, deepest sincere sorry…i nvr asked for dis to happen…im sorry if i hurt u girl, im verry sorry…

i noe u guys in love wit each other…so, dun let go of each other, no matter wut happen..u guys r perfect for each other..miss, im not asking u to not to trust him, cuz trust is d core of a relationship, dat wut went wrong wit my past relationships, including wit him..i didnt asked u to trust my words, but i wont lie to u..not even a single alphabet i would lie..cuz i noe wut it feels like when sum1 lied straight to ur face..juz take care of him, a gud care..cuz he’s very dear to my heart..not bcuz i used to love him, it’s bcuz i still luv him no matter wut..but no, dun worry…i wont take him from u, we were not meant to be wit each other..dat’s for sure..he’s a gud man, but things wont happen our ways, aite?dat’s wut i learn from life, n im still learning..

to him, dun hurt her like u did to me…n u did hurt her wit wut u did in dis past whole month..promise me u wont hurt her, not even a scratch to her heart..she’s been gud to u, not like me…remember, org kn degil, keras kepala, gedik, gatal nk kwn ngn jantan la ape la..so she’s perfect for u..i owez pray for ur happiness cuz i really love u, not even a bit less since d day i fall in love with u, eleventhofmarchtwodoubleohsix..sbb org bkn stakat syg kt awk, org cintakan awk..remember dat..im owez ur fren, n i owez be there if u need me..juz i wont be around cuz i dun wanna hurt her feeling n mine too..janji, jgn calar langsung hati dia, sbb dia baik kt awk,dia btul2 sayangkn awk…sbb korang mgkn da dijodohkn utk bersama, x mcm kte…btul x? =) n jgn laa marah psl blog org neh..org bkn nk jatuhkn maruah awk, org xckp pn awk sape..bknnye 1 dunia tau yg org kwn ngn sape, n ur frenz pn dun actually noe kte kwn kn…so dun b mad at me..it’s juz a way for me 2 express my feelings or else i’ll go crazy or even might be dead of car crash ke ape ke…i still luv my family, so i dun want dat to happen k..so let me say my words..bkn org nk jatuhkn maruah awk, org respect awk sbb org syg awk..so i wont do dat..n im very sorry 4 d trouble k..

as for me, cmon dear…ramai dh kate u guys not meant for each other…mybe there’s sum1 else there for me..not him..yep, it’s not easy to find sum1 else, to learn bout a nu guy, to like him, to trust him n to fall in luv wit him…but i’ll learn to luv again aite?like darling said, not everybody is lucky when it comes to luv..sum of us will meet wrong persons b4 we finally captured d rite 1..n he’s out there..kne try in error la jwb nye..huhuhu nah, im not dat desperate, dun i? ;p besides, i got few great frenz to be wit, to share my life wit..hunys,nina,darling,teah,ngek n those who loves me unconditionally, i owe u guyz a lot..thnx 4 being there for me..

to hunys, jom cari pakwe lg came2 *wink2*

to nina, jom hang out ngn aku..jgn bg aku kesunyian,nnt aku jd gila..

to my darling, thnx darl..u’re a great guy more than a fren cud ask for..i owe u a lot..jgn lupe bwk blk sumtg from indon 4 ur honey neh tau.. =)

to jirim, thnx 4 being there for me..evendo u’re my ex, but u’re owez my bestfren n owez be there for me..i love u too..muahx

to boyfren x jdku(u shud noe who r u cuz u call me ur gf xjd)..u too, i owe u big cuz been there for me even dia marah cane skali pn kt ja ;p thnx dear

to teah, thnx 4 d support evndo u’re so far away..dat’s y ppl said, friendship overcome d distance n time…thnx dear, very much…

kpd mereka yg sayang aku..huhuhu aku pn sayang korg gk..evn aku neh sengal cane pn…i appreciate u guyz..

sesape yg ade bc psl neh, jgn la wat quick assumption ttg sape yg aku ckp neh..mgkin korg teka btul, mgkn teka salah..but jgn la tanye org yg korg teka tu…leave him alone…cuz i luv him ok, so gn serabutkn dia n wat dia marah aku sudah…isk adoih..

to sum1 else there who was meant to be wit me, sdare, cpt la timbul…i would like to meet, like n fall in luv wit u =) hahaha

now dat it’s all said n done..

i cant believe u were d one

to built me up n tear me down

like an old abandoned hose

what u said when u left

just leave me cold n out of breath

i fell too far n way too deep

guess i let u get d best of me…

he made his decision…they’ve been an item for months n he lied to me all dis while..aku rasa sedey sgt…bkn stakat sedey tp hati aku dah mati, jantung aku da stop beating mase tu jugk…dlu at least i saw it coming lil by lil…tp kali nie..seyesly aku x mampu nk hadapi seme nih…seyesly d world around me juz collapse..sbb dia bg hope mcm2 kt aku, wat ati  aku tetap kt dia, wat aku tekad nk idup ngn dia, sanggup tglkn seme yg dia xske but all of sudden he juz dumped me lyk dat…mcm sampah…lyk a dirty sick dog..tell me, how shud i feel? xpnah aku merayu kt lelaki, he’s da 1st..aku merayu gle2, aku mntk maaf, aku mintk peluang…but he juz said no without thinking wut he has done to me…he juz cold..dia kate cmtu la yg aku wat kt dia dlu…dia nk bls dendam ke ape?

n arini sng2 dia kate, :"awk pnah wat salah, sy dah wat salah..so kte same je"..tu je..oh God, how can i survive all dis? dia kte xpnah buka ati kt sesape slain dr aku…tp dia da lama trime org len..aku ni yg xpnah buka ati aku kt sape2 after him…smpai aku buka ati aku blk utk dia, yg mmg da buka utk dia…tp ape die wat kt aku? 9bln aku tpu seme org yg aku da xda ati kt dia, sbb aku nk org tgk aku kuat, tabah..tp dlm ati, xda org pn tau yg aku still syg kn dia gle2..not juz syg, but aku cintakn dia…aku bkn jenis org yg easily to fall in love, n once aku cinta aku btul2…bkn main2…even ktorg da break pn i still luv him…uhuhu…

tah laa….tatau nk pk ape da neh…xleh nk pkpe pn dah…nway to those who read my blog, thnx 4 ur comment…teah, u’re rite…im owez stuck in dis situation..but to find luv n sum1 else tu susah…susah sgt…

hey y’all…

erhm dis is d 2nd week i started my li…sungguh m’bosankn…

ni spatutnye minggu ke-4 cuti…huhuhuhuhuhuhu

well aritu aku dah post yg aku nye xm juz black n white, aite?huhu ktorg da dpt hack result which resulting my results r suck..!!huhuhu bengom gle aku nengok result tuh…tah mcm pape jew..aku rasa neh ar sem plg rajin aku study, tp frustrating gk ar..huh <_<

well sblum cuti arituh i met sum1 who i tried to avoid for months..huhu i wont lie 2 u, i still love him since d day i started loving him till now…mule2 mmg ar wat keras xmo kuar, but last2 kuar gk…windu tau kt die sbnrnye =(..but bcuz some things dat he said back then yg tahan aku xjupe die…ehm well sblum blk cuti tuh ade ar dlm 2 3 kali kot jupe die, n i can feel dat i still love him, very much…

time kt umah, slalu contact ngn dia…tiap2 ari mesti msg kew call kew..pastu die start keje n bcome bz n things started 2 surfaced..punye ar trase smpai 1 day i tot we were back together…tp sbnrnye x bcuz he said he’s not ready to propose me back..now only i noe y n it does hurt…

dia kate die xda pape ngn pompuan tuh..but things dat i saw n found out menyatakn sbaliknye..dia kate dia xnk aku tau sbb xmo kehilangan aku ag…apekah???? i dun mind if he really wants 2 b wit her, tp dia kate juz tmn tapi mesra…tp she got wut i didnt get when i was wit him for almost  a year, wut d fuck it dat? n skejap die kate nk masa, skejap nk bncng blk, n then nk ms lg..kate sayang aku, pastu xle ilang aku, pastu im juz a fren pastu tetbe kate aku tmn tp mesra..mengom..!! ble aku kate aku sedey n he didnt care, dia kate itu la yg aku wat kt die dlu…ape yg patut aku rasa???

so now im trying to say to myself; let him go…it hurts, but it can make him happy…smlm aku mntk ngn dia lupakan aku…dia xmo..so cane aku nk wat camtu gk?huh, life is hard, aint it? =(

well during my li neh bosan gle…xda byk menda nk wat…aritu ade ar wat stock summary which took me a week to finish it..huhu benda x bnyk, tp renyah seyh…memule aritu ade kne wat vb nye program tau..huhu terserlah bakat wat vb..seb bek reti wat =p

smlm cuti sehari…memule g spital ngn leen tgk apek xcdnt…cian die, tulang kering kaki kiri patah..uhuhu cakit =( pastu g amek nina n g pyrmd jupe wit dib wany..uhuhu best tgk menda2 sale but unfortunately aku n nina xda wit =( huhu plg awl lg 2 minggu baru dpt loan taw..dlm poket n bank ade bape hengget jew ag…erk..there was sumthing dat caught my eyes; a ring.!! i told nina if i hv a boyfren i wud buy him dat =) but sadly i dont..tp time tu gk t’igt kt dia n trus msg die..tp last2 aku gk yg sedey smlm..huhuhu bengom…

ape ag eyh…mcm nnt aku akn slalu post blog jey…ye ar xda keje kn..tenet lk ade..huhuhuhu well till then…

asl eyh?

seme aku wat x kne..

n nape aku neh ade instinct yg kuat?

ade je benda yg nk ditunjuk…

y shud d 1 dat i love lied str8 in my face?

alah pompuan tu pn same je cam siol…

nk menipu aku, igt aku xkn tau sampai ble2

patut ar marah aku terjumpe page tuh…

bullshit..!!!!!!!!

bengong bahlol…

nk menipu..

konon slame nih aku laa penipu

dia tu lg penipu bsar dr aku…

idiot

dumbass

bodoh

sengal..

babi…

hunys….!!!!!

i really misz u..

i nyd u rite now…

dh 1 mlm aku x tdo…

ni pn nk nangis ag…

hunys…

aku sedey =(

hey ya..!!

huhu i’ve finished my final xm oredi with flying black n white…haha no colors cuz it all damN sUck..hahaha

well dis sem has come 2 an end oredi..i wont b in mlc until july nxt year..huhu such a long time..it means i wont c sum ppl nemore *sigh~

even juz nk blk g intern, tp cam sedey gk laa da xjupe kwn2 ku yg sengal2 neh..haha plus d ppl i wont c nemore…tu yg lg cedey..well but however fwenship will remain, aite?

lama da xupdate blog neh..cuz tatau nk tulis psl pe..ngn xda masanye..but seyesly tatau nk tulis ape…

evndo byk gk yg jd dis couple of months, but still nothin interesting..

well sumtym i juz feel li "daMn, y shud hv 2 go thru all dis"..but i still cheerish d moments i spent wit all my fwenz,my loved ones *wink*..

k laa…till nxt tym..

buh bye…

in my life..

i’m searching for happiness

but i noe it won’t be dat easy..

in my journey..

i’ve cried n i’ve laughed..

sumtym wit everybody, all of d time alone..

in my world,

i’ve made my mistakes..

i’ve hurted hearts, i’ve felt misery..

i’ve been thru all, i’ve faced it all..

but y is my happiness is still far away

ey there…

i noe i’ve been months since my last post…too much to do in too lil time…lgpn cam xda menda nk diceritakn pn…

anyway dis sem da nk abes da pn…mcm2 jew bnda yg jadi, but o dat interesting laa…blaja pn mkn lama mkn susah je…huhu dis past 3 days i got 4 test yg m’buatkn my head feels like been banging to d wall..huhu ngan keje pn bole tahan laaa byk nye..nxt week i hv tonnes of assignment to pass up…ngan software x jadi nye, ngn website tatau ape cte, ngan com sys x wat lg..huhu very tiring…

skrg ni bln pose, dah sparuh bulan da pn…xlama lg nk raya dah..but dis raya wont b d same like b4 T_T yela k.dik n da family is gone..budak2 lk xda, mesti mcm bosan je raya nie…pastu mesti papa sedih2 sbb cucu2 dia xda…cant imagine cane raya nnt..huh tp dgr kate mama kate nk g sane..rindu sgt la tu kt cucu2 dia…budak2 pn asyik tanye ble mak tok dia nk g sane….huhu

ehmm actualy xda idea nk blog ape nie..saje nk letak new post..nnt dah ada idea i’ll write back, soon…

anyway selamat berpuasa kpd semua muslimin n muslimat…

selamat hari raya…

hye there..to whomever read my blog…

well it hv been few months since my last entry..so busy till i dun evn hv time for myself…mcm² benda yg jadi, berlaku…

since dis sem started, every weekend mesti je ada event yg kne join..since i dun av money dis sem, i hv 2 work my ass to earn sum for living n i did survived till now…

hunterz ade wat paintball workshop n tourney..both went well..mase workshop, ramai ref mprb trun tlg ktorg…mase tourney lak aku jd headref since che pool xdpt dtg cuz dia bz ngn hal lain..well it’s a new experience to be a tourney’s headref since all d field’s decisions are on u…siap kene marah, tengking, maki tah mcm² lg ler…n those ppl such a **** ppl cuz dh tatau rule diam2 dh ar…nk marah org…juz bcuz d headref is a gal n still young, u juz wanna show dat u’re big but actually in ur brain is zero! huh men~

kdg2 weekend tlg che pool kt redtma kalu ade sesape nk main..dpt la sket wit poket..huhu last weekend gi unikl micet…diorg wat tourney, but seme x pnah main…so we did make a suggestion dat they shud starts with workshop 1st, sng sket nk attract owg..but dat event went well n we gained new experience n fwenz…n i got d chance to design my own field..!! huhu (che pool approved it! =) )

like i said, dis sem i dun av enuf time 4 myself..so every now n then kdg2 t’paksa curi mase utk dri sendri..so like rabu ptg ke jumaat ke curi mase sket g tgk movie ngan dak2 nieh, g merayau jp…bole dkira spanjang 7/8 weeks here brape kali je aku pegi mp or dataran pahlawan..huh dat’s a record..!!

b4 i forget..11 n 12 aritu ade npl kt mlk..it was a great event..by then i became a mpro ref..byk gk pengalaman yg dikutip mase jd ref npl..huhu cuci balik yg dh b’karat..asyik kene test ngan mohsin lak tuh..huhu jupe dak which i tried to avoid..but dlm yg best tuh, ade  gk yg xbest…sedih pn ade..tatau la ape nk jd..y sum ppl cant think about others’ feeling? y cant they consider wut we feel??? =(

my fwenz r in gud health n joy (thnx Lord)..sem nieh dlm clas aku kawan ngn owg yg nk kwn je..those who used to b my fren, bkn aku xnk kwn but if dat person rasa he/she is happy dis way, let them be..ade dpt kwn baru, ade ilang kawan…i dunno wut’s wrong wit me..huhu act aritu ada dpt a fren, tp mcm dh ilang la pulak..ehm main aci sorok lk..hehee

as for men..thanx God i’m single..cuz i dun think having a boyfriend would b perfect dis sem since im so bz..the feeling of longing to still ada but i’ll b ok..dun i? as for those used to b in my heart, u’re still there no matter wut happens..we r still frenz for wutever it takes n i owez pray 4 ur happiness…n pada yg bersama mereka tuh, take a gud care of him..he’s a gud man, but sum thing were meant to b dis way..

weekend nie ada sukan interfakulti lak..i participates in volleyball..tatau la ape jd dis weekend…next week merdeka..!!! 50 years of independent n we still got long way 2 go babe..i’m going home next week..ada reunion dak2 pt..hope jd ler..igt nk jupe sum1, tp mcm xjupe dh je..huhu so long everyone..!!

ey there…

ehm sgt la boring skrg nie..bosan sgt yg amat tak terkata…hurm…

2 3 arini xgi mane pon..kuar g city je pon..smlm g potsmouth, byk factory outlet…sum things bole la kre murh, but sum other things kalu convert still mahal..hurm…

hurm bring sgt2 neh..smpai tatau nk wtpe…pg td g city g tmn k.dik g cari brg sket…cejuk ar cnih..ujan je memanjang…angin pn mcm ais..isk nie k.dik xda..kuar ngn cemal g skolh rezza..dok la sowg2 kt umah mcm org gle…ade ym, skype pn xda owg nk chat..dh tatau nk watpe..huhuuuuuu waaaaaaaaaaaaa bosan…

daa~